Lets face it, being single sucks and so does pretending you’re fine with it.
You tell your friends you definitely wouldn’t have been allowed to wear that outfit if you were still with what’s his face and then you preach to Facebook that you shot 10 Sambuca’s before midnight which made your weekend totally awesome, but there’s something missing – isn’t there?
You forget to mention that you wore said outfit to try and impress a selection of people you fancy; at around 2am there’s someone you’re considering texting but you know you’ll probably get ignored if you do so you go home, alone, and wake up to check your phone just in case they had called you. They hadn’t. Oh right. Love when that happens. And you’ve got a hangover? Great.
It’s ok, I know how it feels. Why are you (ok me too) single though? Maybe you’re making a few mistakes that make guys run in the opposite direction? If you’re slyly
or desperately looking for love, try to avoid doing the following:
#1 Doing it for them. If the guy you have a crush on liked Marmite and you were allergic to it, would you eat it? Hopefully not. Don’t dress or act in a way you “think” your crush might like. You’ll look like an idiot when you overhear him say he likes turtles so you turn up to the club in a dress covered in them. Be yourself and you’ll soon know who’s interested in what YOU’RE about.
#2 Being a shit stalker. If ANY of you say you don’t stalk people you fancy or are casually involved with – you’re lying. We all do it, even boys I hear? Anyway as it’s something we all do, you need to be good at it. Liking a picture of him and his ex from 2008 by accident is really not a good idea. Adding him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram within 5 minutes is also, not a good idea.
#3 LITERALLY stalk him. Ok if you’re going to stalk his online profiles I’ve just expressed it’s fine if you’re clever about it, but literally stalking him will only make him file a complaint rather than file your number. Waiting outside his house, turning up at his work, conveniently being at the pub you’ve never stepped foot in at his usual time of 4:30 – just allow it. Paint your nails or something.
4# Playing hard to get. Chances are whilst you’re playing hard to get, fun loving Sally who openly is only looking for casual sex is jumping into bed with “your man”. That’s not to say you need to do the same lol but stop wasting time playing the “I don’t give a shit about you bruv” game and just ask him out – if he says no then onto the next one.
#5 Tell him you love him. You don’t. You really don’t. He’s fit and he looks good in a pair of Calvin’s but for now that’s all.
#6 Sleep with his mate. Hmm.. seems obvious but it happens. What did you achieve? Drama? oh great how’s that going? Splendid I bet. Whatever reaction comes from the guy, whether calm or irate, just know that you’ve fucked it. Literally.
7# Screenshot. If a guy is messaging you, he’s probably not going to put a ring on it if he goes on twitter and sees that you’ve screenshot the conversation calling him ‘moist’ or ‘keeno’. Don’t act like you’re not flattered by his compliments (unless he really is a creep and you’ve screenshot it for the police).
#8 Use Plenty of Fish. I don’t need to elaborate. Prince Harry is not on Plenty of Fish and you know it. At least try Match.com
#9 Cry. Males do not like a cryer. Especially when they’ve only just met you. Especially especially when you’re crying about them not taking you to Disneyland for your first date. Keep your emotions under wraps until you’ve established a good relationship with the person – chances are if they want to know your sins and secrets, they’ll ask.
#10 Kill them. I know it’s the only logical thing to do when we like someone but let them live – for now.